Juvenile Delinquent Pilots With Combat Skills
by Goblin Cat KC
Summary: 1&2, 3&4&5; Boys will be boys, especially on bikes. Being chased by cops. With minor explosions on the way.


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Juvenile Delinquent Pilots With Combat Skills

Warnings: illegal stuff, don't try this at home. Shonen-ai; 12, 345

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing characters belong to Mixx Entertainment, Koichi Tokita, the SOTSU Agency, Sunrise, Kodansha and anyone I may have forgotten, not to me. I make no money off of this.

"Is this great or what?!" Duo screamed to Quatre.

The blonde could barely hear him over the roar of the wind, but he smiled back at him as he slipped his helmet's visor down in place. "Beat ya to the highway!" He leaned close to his motorcycle and accelerated, passing Duo and racing ahead.

"Oh no you don't!" Duo laughed, increasing speed on his own Ninja. "No one outruns Death!"

"How about a chibi-death!" Quatre grinned.

"That's it, no more playing around!" Duo mock-growled. "Shinigami takes no threats from anybody!"

"Except your boyfriend!"

They rounded a particularly tight turn, coming out of the back road they were racing on and entering the highway at the same time. Since it was just after everyone else went to work, though, the road was fairly empty. Just a few cars to dodge here and there.

"Hey, that was uncalled for!" Duo yelled. "Heero never threatens me!"

"Then why does he keep telling you 'omae o korosu'?" Quatre teased.

"That just means he loves me!" Duo nudged his speed up just enough to where he edged farther ahead than Quatre. "I bet I'll beat you to the ice cream shop!"

"Duo, the town's thirty miles away!"

"So? Quatre, we're doing seventy! We'll get there in like half an hour!" Duo grinned and swerved closer to the Arabian. "Besides, it's your fault for building your mansions so far from civilization!"

"You're just angry you have to drive to town to the arcade!"

"There are some of us," Duo stated indignantly, "that don't use our spare time playing the violin just to get our boyfriend off!"

"Duo!" Quatre cried out, glad no one else could hear. "Just because you still can't get Heero to relax is no reason to take your frustrations out on me!"

Duo laughed manically. "Oh, believe me, buddy, I can get him to relax! It's just I like to get him out of the house now and then, make him enjoy himself! If I'm lucky, he'll even pick up a hobby!"

"Good luck!" Quatre smiled. "But--"

His next words were lost in the wail of a police siren quickly coming up behind them.

"Oh no!" Quatre gasped. "Put your visor down!"

Duo complied, slipping the sheet of dark plastic over his face. He flipped on the microphone in the helmet, tuning to the proper frequency. "Hey, Quatre, can you hear me?"

Quatre, who had also switched to radio communications, nodded. "Loud and clear. Man, Rashid's gonna kill me!"

"What? Why?"

"He doesn't even know I snuck out of the mansion!" Quatre sighed. "If he sees me riding in the back of a police car, I'll never hear the end of it. I'll be scolded by the entire Maganac core."

"So who's gonna get caught?" Duo giggled mischievously.

"Duo! This highway only goes straight for miles!"

"Trust me, kid, I'm an expert at evading the authorities! Just follow me!"

Ignoring the 'kid' jibe, Quatre fell behind Duo and matched his speed. A few minutes passed until Quatre realized Duo wasn't really doing anything. "You do have a plan, right?"

"Yup. It's called 'keep-running-until-they-run-out-of-gas!"

"That's not a plan!"

"You wanna turn around and play chicken with 'em?"

"We could try turning and heading back on the opposite lane?" Quatre gazed down along the concrete wall between them and the other highway lane. "I think this wall breaks off in another ten miles. We can try taking off there."

"Sure, do it the easy way," Duo moaned. "Okay, keep your eyes peeled!"

As they raced, two more sirens joined the first one. They both looked back at the cops inside the cars who were frantically waving their arms and ordering them to stop. Quatre just turned back and raced a bit faster, but Duo had the audacity to wave.

"This is the police!" came a loud booming voice over the car's megaphone. "Pull over!"

"Hey, buddy, I think they're trying to communicate!" Duo laughed.

"You are under arrest for speeding, reckless endangerment, lack of proper license plates, and if you don't pull over now, resisting arrest!"

"Um...lemme think," Duo wondered. He turned and flipped the police off, lifting his visor so he could stick his tongue out. "Nah!"

"Dammit, kid, pull over!"

Taking a little risk, Duo pushed himself up in his seat and pulled his pants down just enough to moon the cops before taking his seat again.

And then a motley jumble of voices came over the megaphone.

"Why you little punk, just wait 'till I get my hands on you--!"

"No Bob, don't shoot him!"

"Let me get my gun out!"

"I said put it away!"

bang!

"Cease fire! Cease fire!"

"Aaah!"

The front car careened to the side and hit the guardrail, coming to a harmless stop. Of course the bullet missed, but it caught the boys' attention.

"Holy crap, they're firing at us!" Duo gasped.

"Gee, maybe you shouldn't have mooned him!" Quatre grumbled. "Why did I let you talk me into joyriding with you?"

"Uh...bad news, Q."

"Don't call me Q! And what do you mean, bad news?"

"Up ahead," Duo pointed. "The break in the wall isn't big enough for us to squeeze through, even without the bikes."

Quatre groaned. "All right, I guess we're left with your plan."

Duo laughed and gunned his engine. "You say that like it's a bad thing!"

Suddenly a new voice broke over the intercom. "With you, it usually is."

"Heero!" Duo recognized the dry tone. "Where are you?"

"Coming up behind you. Trowa and Wufei are with me."

"Uh...hi, guys," Quatre murmured.

"Hello, little one. It seems I need to speak with you when we get home."

Quatre sighed and lowered his head. "Yes, Trowa."

The three motorcycles flew past the startled cops and pulled up along the other two. "And I'm sure Rashid will want to talk to you, too."

Quatre's sigh was louder this time, and his speed started to drop off. "I might as well let them catch me, then."

"Dammit, Trowa, that's not fair!" Duo yelled so loud all of them winced. "I finally get Quatre to get away from work and relax and you start hammering him!"

"Duo, don't you start," Heero warned. "I told you to stop playing these games with the police, and now you've dragged Quatre into them."

Duo shook his head angrily. "Quatre, don't listen to them! We're heading into town, and we'll ditch them all there!"

"You're heading to the ice cream shop, right?" Wufei asked curiously.

Quatre nodded. "Yup. Why?"

"Did you bring any money with you?"

Quatre and Duo both groaned at the same time. "Argh!"

Duo smacked the front of his motorcycle. "I can't believe I forgot that!"

"Good thing I remembered," Wufei said in as flat a tone as he could manage.

"Wufei?" Quatre asked hopefully, his speed picking back up.

"I figured forty dollars would cover all of us."

"Wufei!" Trowa and Heero snapped at once.

"You love spoiling Quatre, don't you?" Trowa sighed.

"I prefer seeing both of you smile, and if it takes a bit of spoiling, fine."

"Woohoo!" Duo laughed, popping a quick wheelie in his exuberance. "You rock, Wu-chan!"

"Maxwell! Don't call me that!"

Duo didn't hear him, as usual. Instead he glanced back and forth between the cops and the road. "Okay, then, if we're to taste that frosty, creamy goodness, we'd better lose the boys in blue!"

"Since there are five of us," Quatre started, his analytical mind working out stratagems, "we can split up as we head into town. We'll go in five different directions, and when the police choose their targets we can lose them easily!"

"I have a better idea," Heero cut in. They all watched as he pulled a little package from his saddlebags, pressed a few buttons, and dropped it behind them. "I'd speed up if I were you." Suddenly he punched his engine, flying off ahead of them. Wasting no time, they followed as fast as they could.

BANGKABOOMCRASH

When they looked back, they saw that the package Heero had dropped was a small grade explosive which had not only destroyed the wheels of both cars, but the two engine blocks were still flying up in the air. The heavy pieces of metal landed in the trunks of the cars, behind two pairs of extremely terrified policemen.

"Cool!" Duo giggled maniacally, and beside him, Heero also snickered.

"So how did you know where we were?" Quatre asked between spoonfuls of his banana split. He was comfortably sandwiched between Wufei and Trowa, sitting on the Chinese boy's lap but leaning against Trowa's shoulder.

"Well, after I noticed you two had disappeared," Heero started, "Wufei admitted he snuck you out under Rashid's nose to the garage."

Trowa reached around and gently yanked Wufei's ponytail. "And didn't tell the rest of us."

Wufei pulled to the side, losing his hair band in the process. "My apologies, but Quatre was wilting underneath all that paperwork."

"'S true," Duo nodded enthusiastically, almost tipping his triple scoop of cherry, orange and strawberry into Heero's lap. "He was looking pale and mopey."

They all looked up at him quietly, except for Quatre, who simply could not be disturbed from his split.

"I mean, more than usual," Duo amended.

Quatre blinked. "Hey!"

"And when we heard the a.p.b. on 'two crazy kids riding like demons down the highway on expensive, custom Ninjas and mooning the cops,' we figured it was you," Wufei sighed. "Really, Quatre, that braided baka is a bad influence on your driving skills."

"Hey!" Duo pouted.

"But if Quatre was 'wilting,' what is Duo's excuse?" Heero asked, one hand gripping Duo's braid and the other curled around two scoops of lemon and lime in a waffle cone. In short, he and Duo were as far from vanilla as possible.

"Um...I convinced Wufei to run a diversion," Duo said in a tiny voice, hiding behind his chewed cone. "And Quatre needed a bodyguard..."

"And you wanted a joyride," Heero said knowingly.

"Well, you were too busy cleaning all your guns to play," Duo grumbled. "Your exact words were 'Duo no baka! Go find someone else to bother'!"

Trowa chuckled and spooned out another taste of his chocolate ice cream. "Heero, you should keep a better leash on your lover. Otherwise, he seems to get people into trouble."

Quatre looked up nervously. "I'm still in trouble?"

Wufei nodded once, finishing off his vanilla. "I cannot keep you safe from everything, little angel. Plus, I did not expect you to play games with the police."

"I'm afraid you're going to have to be punished," Trowa said in as stern a voice as he could manage.

"Especially since 'cop-baiting' is normally Trowa's game of choice," Wufei added, raising one eyebrow at Trowa.

The tall boy had the grace to blush mildly, softly reminded that if Duo was a bad influence, then Trowa would have to put himself in the category of the 'bad boy'. "All right...no scolding."

"Yay!" Quatre beamed.

"But certainly some punishment?" Wufei asked, eyes sparkling.

"Oh, definitely," Trowa nodded. "He needs some late-night discipline."

That only made Quatre beam even more.

"That reminds me," Heero spoke up. "Did you really moon the cops?"

"Um, that wasn't me," Quatre insisted.

They all glared at Duo, who gave them a cheeky grin. "It was funny! Plus, they were being mean."

"I suppose that's the proper focus for your punishment," Heero said casually, "since you're so anxious to show it."

"My punishment?!" Duo cried, who had proper reason to fear Heero's idea of discipline. His rear still got flashback soreness every time he remembered that last spanking. "What'd I do?"

"You want a list?" Heero asked. "You're already getting ice cream, which is better than you deserve right now."

"And what will my punishment be, o perfect soldier?" Duo sing-songed into Heero's ear.

"Hmm...maybe...cleaning our room for a change?"

"No!"

The doors to the ice cream shop suddenly burst open and a huge man stepped in. "Quatre, where are you?!"

"Eep!" Quatre cried. "Rashid!"

Rashid glared at the boy. "Master Quatre, I know you are still young, but even your age does not excuse blowing up two police cars and crashing another!"

"Um, the second two were Heero's kills," Duo mumbled.

Wufei fought to hold his smirk back, but the four pilots could read his intent and tensed up. "Rashid, we share your sentiments," he started, standing up. "The dessert was merely to calm poor Quatre's nerves after that little adventure. Rest assured, he will receive proper correction for his actions."

Rashid narrowed his eyes. While Wufei smoothly wove his words around, the other pilots were rapidly finishing off their ice cream as fast as they could. "Wufei, weren't you the one who told me there was a dying cat roaming behind the house?"

Quatre nearly choked on the last of his banana split.

Wufei didn't even blink. All of his reading on rhetoric was coming in handy now. "No, I said I heard something that sounded like a dying cat behind the house."

Rashid nodded, a light of understanding creeping into his eyes. "Which you had no idea was Master Quatre's early violin lessons played at full volume?"

Quatre gasped as his eyes went wide. "Wufei! Where'd you find those?! I thought I burned all of those!"

"Now!" Heero yelled, standing up and running for the side door where they'd parked their motorcycles. Duo, whose hair was still firmly clasped in Heero's hand, had no choice but to keep up. Trowa grabbed Quatre and hauled him over his shoulder as he carried him out. Wufei, somehow able to maneuver in his slipper-like shoes, dodged Rashid's arms and followed.

A moment later, all of them were riding at full speed back down the highway. After a second or two, Wufei caught up to them, a mischievous glint worthy of Duo in his eyes.

"Wufei, what's so funny?" Trowa asked his Chinese koi.

"Oh, nothing much," Wufei smiled. "I just didn't have to spend forty dollars, that's all."

"You didn't," Quatre gasped.

"Yes," Wufei nodded. "I left Rashid with the bill!"

The End


End file.
